How To Fix An Economy In Crisis

Unless you have been living under a rock on a deserted island somewhere in the tropics this week, you have been watching with semi-shock and awe as the details of the AIG debacle have begun to surface and hit the airwaves. Many millions of dollars have been paid out in bonus compensation to high-level executives while the company has accepted BILLIONS of dollars of government bail-out money to keep their company "afloat". I do not have an MBA from Harvard. In fact, I'd be bold enough to say that my IQ probably doesn't reside in the Superstar Genius range either. But I'd like the half-wits who currently run AIG (and other like companies who are also currently under the microscope - yes you too GM) to get out their Handy Dandy Notebooks (Blues Clues seems right about on their economic intelligence level) and begin writing.

(1) Retrieve the bonus money. Some of the executives have already been shamed into returning it. Let's extend that and light ALL their asses on fire. (2) DO NOT SPEND THIS MONEY! You are not equipped with enough common sense for this task. Please leave it to those who are able. (3) Immediately cease and desist all executive office renovations. Yes, this does specifically refer to the $1 million PLUS dollars currently being spent on this by one of you numbskulls for your CEO and a few of his "executive staff". (4) Land all corporate jets until further notice. Flights will be booked on public airlines. And you will be sitting in coach. Suck it up and get used to it. (5) Look around you at your neighbors. At least one of you does not provide significant value or ROI to your employer. Say good bye to that person (or begin packing up your own belongings). It's time to tighten the belts and get tough.

I would like to propose a significant, albeit unusual, solution to a lot of the problems the economy is currently experiencing. I would like you to take those hundreds of millions of dollars and spend them wisely. First, I want you to evaluate each of the employees working for your company, TOP TO BOTTOM. Those who do not provide significant value to your organization: please hand them their two-weeks severence pay and show them the door. Please provide several boxes for your CEO. I hear he has a lot of stuff.

Now, begin writing checks. Each one of those checks for $20,000. I'd like you to pass one of those checks to each of the persons employed on your staff who earn less than $35,000 anually. I'd like you to write some additional checks. Each one of those checks for $10,000. I'd like you pass one of those checks to each of the persons employed on your staff who earn between $20,001 and $65,000. Just THINK about what that would do for employee retention - those value-driven employees who are the heart and soul of your business. Think about the number of homes that would be saved from forclosure. Think about the thousands of dollars that would be put directly into our economy through consumerism. Sam Walton just had a wet dream.

I heard a newscaster the other evening propose that the best possible benefit any employer could provide to their employees would be to buy them a house. It would solve many of the money issues their employees currently are experiencing. It would reduce the forclosure rates. The surge in home sales would help reinflate the housing market. Things would be good again.

While that is a bold idea, I don't believe we even need to go that far. I do believe that many of these companies need to start cleaning their cupboards. Have a garage sale - get rid of your "junk". Keep the brightest and best (p.s. - those are not necessarily those who are earning the big paychecks). Reduce your size to something that is reasonable and manageable - manageable being the key factor here. I bet you'll find that what you have is not a revenue stream problem, but a spending problem.

In the past few decades we have seen companies merging to form mega-corporations. Not just small companies becoming larger companies - but large corporations merging into giant monopolies that do not provide value to the business climate in our country. These mergers did not "save" the miilions of dollars that were promised. Instead, those millions of dollars have eneded up in the pockets of the CEOs and executives who orchestrated the mergers. This current economy is showing the weakness of these mega-corporations. They are pariahs. They have weakened the ecomony, the general welfare of Americans and our GDP. Mega-corporations do NOT run efficiently. They are a drain on American resources, from the large government handouts they get to the relocation of hundreds of thousands of jobs to foreign locations. They take millions from our government in "welfare" handouts and tax-breaks which were intended not to aid mega-corporations, but to aid smaller businesses and corporations in bringing jobs to our communities. They do not promote capitalism - they actually inhibit it by preventing smaller companies from sharing the market. And atop all of this quagmire is a CEO who is getting paid far more than he (or she, but usually he) is worth, spending extravagantly on the corporate expense account, and providing little to no value to the company itself. We have been creating a colony of blood-sucking insects in these mega-corporations. This economy is the perfect environment to extermine the insects - and I'm here to hand out fly-swatters.

Anyone want one?????